VOTE FOR NEW PLAYERS HERE
May 2013 New Alliance 748
PLEASE LETS HAVE SPARE ACCOUNTS
We need accounts people,
This morning my wife said she wanted scrambled eggs
So I punched her in the ovaries.
I just killed a huge spider crawling along the floor with my shoe.
I don't care how big a spider is, nobody steals my fucking shoe.
I love this time of year. You can slam your laptop shut when your girlfriend walks into the room and you don't get any disgusted looks.
Facebook should have a limit on the number of times people can change their relationship status.
After five, it ought to default to "Unstable"
I got so sick of the trick or treaters that I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in.
Fuck the ships. My lighthouse, my rules.
Gaddafi wasnt killed by the rebels
No he wanted sleeping pills and he asked michael jackson's docter
I caught a cold whilst waiting for my flight ,
I hope it's not a terminal illness
A terrorist once tried to recruit me into becoming a suicide bomber. Told the lad id rather kill myself!
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to." his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know," she replied, "now just rest and let the poison work."
Tonight I saved a woman from the shame of prostitution.
I didn't pay her.
I invited all my mates to a Bonfire night party but nobody has replied.
On reflection starting with the line ''Fancy a beer and a bang'' might have been poor word choice.
If you would like to add to this page mail slew cru or Invader